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May, 2006 CAFE THE JOKERCAFE THE JOKER
drinks, music & comedy
ELKE ZATERDAG
DJ EDDY TATTOO
ELKE ZONDAG
COMEDY
Kleine Markt 16 (einde kammenstraat) / Antwerpen March, 2006 Cafe The Joker!Vanaf 1 April is het zover:
Cafe The Joker
Drinks & Comedy
Kleine Markt 16 (einde Kammenstraat) December, 2005 Home Home is where the heart lies, but if the heart lies Where is home, is where the heart lies, but where is home? December, 2005 The Curse of an Aching Heart You made me what I am today, I should hope you're satisfied, You dragged, you dragged me down until the soul within me died. You've shattered each and every dream, you fooled me right from the start. And although you're not true, may God bless you, That's the curse of an aching heart. November, 2005 Zierikzee 05/11/05Het was een fijn feestje in Brogum.
Dj Eisbear heeft het beste van zichzelf gegeven!
Videoclips mixen is fukkin moeilijk.
De 19e november in zaal jacob (antwerpen) moet ik dat nog eens over doen op de special edition van de 80s hits night (www.80s.be).
komt dat zien!
October, 2005 open deurik kan dit weekend alleen maar zo samenvatten:
If you like to gamble, I tell you I'm your man, You win some, lose some, all the same to me, The pleasure is to play, makes no difference what you say, I don't share your greed, the only card I need is The Ace Of Spades Playing for the high one, dancing with the devil, Going with the flow, it's all the same to me, Seven or Eleven, snake eyes watching you, Double up or quit, double stake or split, The Ace Of Spades You know I'm born to lose, and gambling's for fools, But that's the way I like it baby, I don't wanna live for ever, And don't forget the joker! Pushing up the ante, I know you've got to see me, Read 'em and weep, the dead man's hand again, I see it in your eyes, take one look and die, The only thing you see, you know it's gonna be, The Ace Of Spades
man man man
wat een weekend... dank aan: de 550 mensen vrijdag in de aalmoezenier de 4000 mensen zaterdag in de brielpoort Slash Gordon, Rotzack de la Rocka en Chuck D-cup en vooral DJ loveboat
Het was DOLFIJN. October, 2005 DisappointedPromises
Promises Old tired Worn out second hand sentences One thing With you is certain You’re a really sad person So sad Disappointed a few people When friendship reared its ugly head Disappointed a few people Well, isn't that what friends are for What are friends for You You're just a really bad person Who won't You won't listen to anyone No not you With those half moon eyelids Just babbling on Your useless defences So sad Disappointed a few people When friendship reared its ugly head Disappointed a few people Well, isn't that what friends are for What are friends for This erratic haphazard Fluttering This to-ing and fro-ing Like a confused moth The collusion Illusion And it's all ad infinitum You're a really sad person You're really so sad Disappointed a few people When friendship reared its ugly head Disappointed a few people Well, isn't that what friends are for What are friends for Fools and horses Running their courses And brow beaten down Like dust on the ground You cheat easily Like sweet charity And all of the bastards The world despises Springing surprises In newer disguises You cheat easily Like all charity - Johnny Lydon October, 2005 non-entityNon Entity The sky is not the same
- trent reznor October, 2005 Paradox RevisitedParadox RevisitedLang geleden, toen Lt Castillo nog een losbandige jongeling zonder snor was en de president van Amerika een ándere George Bush, liep alternatief De Paradox' bestaat intussen niet meer, maar een mens kan gelukkig nog wel naar wat anders luisteren dan K3, Sylver, Christina en een gekke kikker. Paradox Revisited (hulde aan de roots, jazeker!) wil de oude glorie laten herleven, maar - stilstaan is achteruitgaan, dat weet zelfs uw oude grootmoeder - heeft ook de vinger aan de pols van de huidige alternatieve pop, rock en hiphop (Franz Ferdinand, The Streets of Queens of the Stone Age, iemand?). Oud en nieuw dus, of, zoals ze in Oezbekistan zeggen, the best of both worlds! vrijdag 28 juni 2005 Den Aalmoezenier –Aalmoezenierstraat 46/4 – 2000 Antwerpen 22.00 uur Lt. Lemmy Castillo, Slash Gordon, Chuck D-cup & Rotzack De La Rocka Alternative pop, rock en hiphop Vvk: 5 euro reserveren via info@paradoxrevisited.be/ Add: 6 euro Info: www.paradoxrevisited.be
met muziek van: 50 Cent * AC/DC * The Afghan Whigs * Alice in Chains * Ash * Audio Bullys * Audioslave * Bad Religion * Basement Jaxx * Beastie Boys * Beck * Biohazard * The Black Crowes * Black Rebel Motorcycle Club * Bloc Party * Bloodhound Gang * Blur * Body Count * The Bravery * The Breeders * Buffalo Tom * Bush * Busta Rhymes * Cake * Carter The Unstoppable Sex Machine * Channel Zero * The Chemical Brothers * The Clash * Clawfinger * Coldplay * Consolidated * Cop Shoot Cop * The Cult * The Cure * Cypress Hill * Daft Punk * Dandy Warholes * Danko Jones * Danzig * The Darkness * The Datsuns * De La Soul * Dead Kennedys * The Deftones * Deus * Digital Underground * Dinosaur Jr * Disposable Heroes of Hiphoprisy * Dizzee Rascal * Dog Eat Dog * Dr. Dre * Smile Like An Eagle of Death Metal * Editors * Eels * Eminem * Everlast * Faith No More * Fatboy Slim * Feeder * Fishbone * Foo Fighters * Fountains of Wayne * Franz Ferdinand * Freestylers * Front 242 * Fu Manchu * Fugazi * Fugees * Fun Lovin’ Criminals * Gangstarr * Garbage * Girls Against Boys * Gluecifer * Goats * Godfathers * Gorefest * Gorillaz * Green Day * Guns ‘n’ Roses * Happy Mondays * Hard-Fi * Hellacopters * Helmet * Hermano * The Hives * Hot Hot Heat * House of Pain * Husker Du * Ice Cube * Ice-T * Infectious Grooves * Inspiral Carpets * Interpol * Jane’s Addiction * Jay-Z * Jet * Junkie XL * Jurassic 5 * Kaiser Chiefs * Kanye West * The Killers * Killing Joke * The Kills * Kings of Leon * Korn * Krs-ONE * Kula Shaker * Kyuss * L7 * LCD Soundsystem * Led Zeppelin * The Libertines * Life of Agony * Limp Bizkit * Linkin Park * LivedehtsitraB * Living Colour * LL Cool J * Machinehead * Magnapop * Marilyn Manson * The Mars Volta * Masters of Reality * Metallica * Methods of Mayhem * Millencolin * Millionaire * Monster Magnet * Motörhead * Mucky Pup * Muse * N.E.R.D * N.W.A * Nas * Naughty by Nature * Ned’s Atomic Dustbin * Nine Inch Nails * Nirvana * Oasis * Offspring * Ol’ Dirty Bastard * Pantera * Papa Roach * Paris * Pavement * Pearl Jam * Pennywise * Pixies * Presidents of the USA * Primus * The Prodigy * Prong * Pro-Pain * Public Enemy * Queens of the Stone Age * Radio 4 * Radiohead * Rage Against The Machine * Rammstein * Ramones * Rancid * The Rapture * Red Hot Chili Peppers * Renegade Soundwave * Rocket from the Crypt * The Roots * Run-DMC * Screaming Trees * Senser * Sepultura * Sex Pistols * Sick of it All * Sisters of Mercy * Slayer * Smashing Pumpkins * The Smiths * Snoop Dogg * Sonic Youth * Soul Coughing * Soulwax * Soundgarden * Stereo MC’s * Stone Roses * Stone Temple Pilots * The Stooges * The Streets * The Strokes * Suede * Sugar * Sugar Ray * Suicidal Tendencies * System of a Down * Therapy? * Tool * Triggerfinger * Turbonegro * Type O Negative * Urban Dance Squad * Velvet Revolver * Veruca Salt * The Von Bondies * Weezer * Westside Connection * The White Stripes * Wiseguys * Wu-Tang Clan * Zita Swoon * September, 2005 just a ride The world is like a ride in an amusement park. And when you choose to go on it, you think it's real because that's how powerful our minds are. And the ride goes up and down and round and round. It has thrills and chills and it's very brightly coloured and it's very loud and it's fun, for a while. Some people have been on the ride for a long time and they begin to question, is this real, or is this just a ride? And other people have remembered, and they come back to us, they say, "hey - don't worry, don't be afraid, ever, because, this is just a ride... ...It's just a ride. And we can change it anytime we want.
August, 2005 quotes
President Bush is supporting Arnold but a lot of Republicans are not, because he is actually quite liberal. Karl Rove said if his father wasn't a Nazi, he wouldn't have any credibility with conservatives at all.
Women cannot complain about men anymore until they start getting better taste in them.
I like my coffee like I like my women. In a plastic cup.
And the National Rifle Association says that, "Guns don't kill people, people do," but I think the gun helps, you know? I think it helps. I just think just standing there going, "Bang!" That's not going to kill too many people, is it? You'd have to be really dodgy on the heart to have that.
And I know this happens because I took economics, and I'd explain it to yea' - but I flunked that course. Not my fault. They taught it at 8 o'clock in the morning. And there is absolutely nothing you can learn out of one bloodshot eye. Lewis Black
I realize I use the word 'fuck' a lot, and I'd apologize for that.. but I don't give a shit. Lewis Black
What do atheists scream when they come? Bill Hicks
God help me. I'm so tired. I need my sleep. I make no bones about it. I need eight hours a day, and at least ten at night. . . . Bill Hicks
world hunger... You want to help these people? Stop sending them food. Don't send these people another bite, folks. You want to send them something, you want to help these people? Send them U-Hauls, send them luggage, send them someone like me, I'll walk out there..send a guy who'll go, 'Hey, we just drove 700 miles with your food and it occurred to us that there wouldn't be world hunger, if you people would LIVE WHERE THE FOOD IS! YOU LIVE IN A FUCKING DESERT! YOU LIVE IN A FUCKING DESERT! NOTHING GROWS OUT HERE! NOTHING'S GONNA GROW HERE! YOU SEE THIS? HUH? THIS IS SAND. YEAH. DID YOU KNOW NOTHING CAN GROW IN THIS SHIT? HERE, EAT SOME OF IT, TASTE IT. KNOW WHAT IT'S GONNA BE A HUNDRED YEARS FROM NOW? IT'S GONNA BE SAND! YOU LIVE IN A FUCKING DESERT! GET YOUR KIDS, GET YOUR SHIT, WE'LL MAKE ONE TRIP, WE'LL TAKE YOU TO WHERE THE FOOD IS! WE HAVE DESERTS IN AMERICA -- WE JUST DON'T LIVE IN THEM, ASSHOLES!" Sam Kinison
I would never do crack... I would never do a drug named after a part of my own ass, okay?"
All drugs are medicinal. Boredom is a disease worse than cancer. Drugs cure it Doug Stanhope
Only (A Prawn in Whitby)- I'd like a ticket please!
.....
Only you can take me there,
- Cud August, 2005 Christopher Walken 2008Christopher Walken 2008![]() "Our great country is in a terrible downward spiral. We're outsourcing jobs, bankrupting social security, and losing lives at war. We need to focus on what's important-- paying attention to our children, our citizens, our future. We need to think about improving our failing educational system, making better use of our resources, and helping to promote a stable, safe, and tolerant global society. It's time to be smart about our politics. It's time to get America back on track." The Official Homepage of the Walken 2008 Campaign http://www.walken2008.com August, 2005 de openbaringalles is gedaan
niets helpt
doe niets
overal komt narigheid van
nergens is vrede
wees nergens
iedereen heeft haast
iedereen is ontevreden
niemand heeft tijd
niemand is gelukkig
wees niemand August, 2005 Life sucksMost people think, "Life sucks, and then you die." I disagree. I think life sucks, then you get cancer. Then you go into chemotherapy. You lose all your hair, you feel bad about yourself. Then all of the sudden the cancer goes into remission. You look good you feel good, you're going great, and all of the sudden you have a stroke. You can't move your right side. And one day you step off the curb at 68th by Lincoln Center and bang, you get hit by a bus. And then, maybe, you die. July, 2005 Meat!I tried eating vegetarian. I feel like a wimp going into a restaurant. "What do you want to eat sir? Brocolli?" Brocolli's a side dish, folks. Always was, always will be, ok? When they ask me what I want, I say, "What do you think I want!? This is America. I want a bowl of raw red meat right now. Forget about that. Bring me a live cow over to the table. I'll carve off what I want and ride the rest home!"
Red meat, white meat, blue meat, meat-o-fucking-rama. You will eat it. Because not eating meat is a decision. Eating meat is an instinct! Yeah! And I know what it's about. "I don't want to eat the meat because I love the animals. I love the animals." Hey, I love the animals too. I love my doggy. He's so cute. My fluffy little dog.. He's so cute- There's the problem. We only want to save the cute animals, don't we? Yeah. Why don't we just have animal auditions. Line 'em up one by one and interview them individually. "What are you?" "I'm an otter." "And what do you do?" "I swim around on my back and do cute little human things with my hands." "You're free to go." "And what are you?" "I'm a cow." "Get in the fucking truck, ok pal!" "But I'm an animal." "You're a baseball glove! Get on that truck!" "I'm an animal, I have rights!" "Yeah, here's yer fucking cousin, get on the fucking truck, pal!" We kill the cows to make jackets out of them and then we kill each other for the jackets we made out of the cows. You will eat the meat folks, because this country was founded on two things. Meat, and war. You eat enough fucking meat, you wanna kill somebody. That's the way it works. That was the ultimate American dream. During that Persian Gulf War, I was sitting in my living room, naked, with a can of Budweiser and a three inch stake watching the war, live, on TV. I had a six foot erection with a giant cheese burger on the end of it. I ate so much meat during the war that by the time the war was over three weeks later, I was like, "No no no. We need to keep fighting. Make a couple of stops on our way home from the Persian Gulf. First stop! Vietnam! Surprise the fuck out of those people, huh?" "You make a movie?" "Not this time, pal!"
- Denis Leary Are You Man Enough?Here's a cold hard fact that you must now chew and swallow: if you are reading this, you are not macho. Period. Case closed. Real men do not read anything other than GUNS AND AMMO, SPORTS ILLUSTRATED, or SHAVED BEAVER.
I think the death of macho is easily located on a very recent map. Sometime in the late '70s-right around the time the Village People released "Macho Man" and Barry Manilow sang "Copacabana" and Robby Benson was mewling his way into the hearts of teenage ultra-virgin, men made a serious mistake. We started TALKING to each other. We stopped punching each other and began discussing why we wanted to punch each other. I'll bet my right nut that if I had done some research, I would have found a dramatic decline in facial cuts and brain contusions starting in 1977. Now we're supposed to be sensitive. We are supposed to share our feelings and cry at funerals and care about our hair. We're, in short, supposed to be women. Hello, my name is Shirley. Touch me in the morning. I believe in equal rights. I believe that women should get equal pay for equal jobs. I believe women should have control of their bodies and be in positions of power. I believe we should have the same size shoulder pads in our suits. But I also believe that men should be men and women should be, well, women. Women should be soft and smart and mysterious. And men should have their own tools. I pine for the sheer stupidity of the old macho days, when men would brandish hammers and build huge, bulky cars that sucked up gas and tore open the ozone layer and crushed small animals beneath totally useless but totally cool-looking tail fins. When men were apes with good shoes and a dental plan. John Wayne, John Huston, Bill Holden, Bob Mitchum, Clark Gable, Babe Ruth, Lee Marvin, Sam Peckinpah. Men who drank and fought and puked and ate raw meat right off the bone and drank some more and fought some more and puked again and kept on drinking. Men who died of massive heart attacks or sudden brain seizures or who just plain fucking blew up. Men who had cancer six or seven times. Men made out of leather.
We seem a little more sorry, a little more plump, a lot more ladylike around the edges. If you really want to reclaim your macho self, if you really want to be a macho, macho man, stop reading this article. If you are still reading, you probably need a little more help. Forget Robert Bly or FIRE IN YOUR PROSTATE. Don't go on a Male-Bonding Self-Discovery Weekend, which is just another term for Circle Jerk as far as I'm concerned. Here, instead, is a guide:
BALLS, A.K.A. COJONES: You should have several. Preferably brass or steel. Extra large. CRYING: Never. Ever. Over anything. Not death in the family, not a bullet in the chest. You may tear up ever so slightly in one eye only when watching a favorite sports legend retire. You may tear up in both eyes only when kicked, accidentally or on purpose, in the COJONES. KISSING: see "SPORTS" HUGGING: see "SPORTS" SPORTS: Once all men within reach are dressed in a team uniform, it is perfectly acceptable to kiss and hug and grab each other's ass. This is probably because all men are latent homosexuals and prefer male company to female company. But if some guy points out this fact to you, punch him directly in the throat. (Optional retorts: "Prefer this!" or "Fuck You!" or " Shut the fuck up!" HEALTH: Never go to the hospital or visit a doctor. If you have a stroke, keep drinking and act like you prefer to use only one side of your body. If you cut off a limb while using a power tool-so what? That's why there's duct tape and staple guns. If someone tries to drive you to the hospital after a heart attack or maiming, punch him in the throat. (Optional retorts: "Drive This!" or "Fuck you!" or "Shut the fuck up!") DIET: meat, cigarettes, meat, booze, meat, and coffee. In case of aneurysm or alcohol-induced coma, see "HEALTH." FIGHTING: At all times, over anything. Never hit a woman. Or a child. Or a bus. Never hit a priest until he takes off his collar. (If it's the pope, wait until he removes the large hat.) Clergy will often provoke a punch in the throat with their "violence doesn't prove anything" pontifications. (Optional retorts: "Prove this!" or "Fuck you Father!" or "Shut the fuck up, Padre!") DRINKING: No falling down. No puking-unless to empty the stomach in order to continue drinking. No slurring of words. Tell a few war stories: "See that scar? I was in 'Nam and I ate a grenade and it blew up in my colon." If your aim is off due to alcohol, it's acceptable to punch someone in the head or solar plexus. SEX: You're probably too drunk or just plain stupid to have sex but pretend you get a lot, i.e. "You should've seen me last night, blah, blah, blah, blah." Absorb this info and you should be on your way. If you have any further questions, call 1-800-COJONES. Remember: We're men. Big, boxy, sweaty, ignorant men. We have penises. Well, we used to have penises. Either way, I think Billy Martin, the late Yankees manager, said it best when he said, "Hey, I can drive."
- Denis Leary July, 2005 five stages of drinkingThe Five Stages of Drinking --------------------------------- LEVEL 1: It's 11:00 on a weeknight, you've had a few beers. You get up to leave because you have work the next day and one of your friends buys another round. One of your UNEMPLOYED friends. Here at level one you think to yourself, "Oh come on, this is silly, why as long as I get seven hours of sleep (snap fingers), I'm cool.". LEVEL 2: It's midnight. You've had a few more beers. You've just spent 20 minutes arguing against artificial turf. You get up to leave again, but at level two, a little devil appears on your shoulder. And now you're thinking, "Hey! I'm out with my friends! What am I working for anyway? These are the good times! Besides, as long as I get five hours sleep (snaps fingers) I'm cool.". LEVEL 3: One in the morning. You've abandoned beer for tequila. You've just spent 20 minutes arguing FOR artificial turf. And now you're thinking, "Our waitress is the most beautiful woman I've ever seen!" At level three, you love the world. On the way to the bathroom you buy a drink for the stranger at the end of the bar just because you like his face. You get drinking fantasies. (like,"Hey fellas, if we bought our own bar, we could live together forever. We could do it. Tommy, you could cook.") But at level three, that devil is a little bit bigger....and he's buying. And you're thinking "Oh, come on, come on now. As long as I get three hours sleep...and a complete change of blood (snaps fingers), I'm cool.". LEVEL 4: Two in the morning. And the devil is bartending. For last call, you ordered a bottle of rum and a Coke. You ARE artificial turf! This time on your way to the bathroom, you punch the stranger at the end of the bar. Just because you don't like his face! And now you're thinking, "Our busboy is the best looking man I've ever seen." You and your friends decide to leave, right after you get thrown out, and one of you knows an ...after hours bar. And here, at level four, you actually think to yourself, "Well....as long as I'm only going to get a few hours sleep anyway, I may as well....STAY UP ALL NIGHT!!!! Yeah! That'd be good for me. I don't mind going to that board meeting looking like Keith Richards. Yeah, I'll turn that around, make it work for me. And besides, as long as I get 31 hours sleep tomorrow ...................cool. LEVEL 5: Five in the morning. after unsuccessfully trying to get your money back at the tattoo parlor ("But I don't even know anybody named Ruby!!!"), you and your friends wind up across the state line in a bar with guys who have been in prison as recently as...that morning. It's the kind of place where even the devil is going, "Uh, I gotta turn in. I gotta be in Hell- at nine. I've got that brunch with Hitler, I can't miss that." At this point, you're all drinking some kind of thick blue liquor, like something from a Klingon wedding. A waitress with fresh stitches comes over, and you think to yourself, "Someday I'm gonna marry that girl!!" One of your friends stands up and screams, "WE'RE DRIVIN' TO FLORIDA!!!!!"- and passes out. You crawl outside for air , and then you hit the worst part of level five- the sun. You weren't expecting that were you? You never do. You walk out of a bar in daylight, and you see people on their way to work, or jogging. And they look at you-and they know. And they say..."Who's Ruby?" Let's be honest, if you're 19 and you stay up all night, it's like a victory like you've beat the night, but if you're over 30, then that sun is like God's flashlight. We all say the same prayer then, "I swear, I will never do this again (how long?) as long as I live!" And some of us have that little addition, "and this time, I mean it!" - Larry Miller July, 2005 Caught in my shadow.These streets used to look big, this town used to look like a city, these people used to talk to me. Offer me the bait, I'd take it, offer me the cake, I'd bake it, generally I'd try to fake it, but these days I'd rather face it. If it's not enough I gave my blood, my sweat, my tears, and I said I would. July, 2005 save this! I have no head for figures My hands cannot explain Endangered animals and acid rain I see dead rivers running dry I see activists who march and cry How they cry singin' Why must we desecrate this land I'll tell you why Because we can that's why Save the whales, save the seals Save the eagle, save the bison and the beach Why not save your breath Save the porpoise, save the dolphin Save the gerbil, save the racoon and the rat Why not save some stamps I am a human, I'm a goddamn human being I walk erect See the cheetah, oh so supple, lean and quick As he chases a gazelle But he can't drive a car At least not very far I am a human, I'm a goddamn human being I can pay for sex "Hey, there's a great show on the Discovery Channel tonight, the history of the badger." "Hmm, I wonder what badger tastes like?" "I don't know, probably tastes like ferret." "Wow, you've had ferret?" "Yeah." "What's it taste like?" "Chicken." I am a human, I'm a goddamn human being I can wipe my ass "What gives mankind the right to kill at will?" "I'll tell you what, guns. Big fuckin' guns with giant fuckin' bullets pal." I am a human, I'm a goddamn human being I can shave my balls |
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